Prom Dress Give-Away Event - Recap and Be Grateful

You know that you have made the right choice to commit your time, money and energy, when the mom of one of our prom girls who attended our “free” prom event hugs (more than once) every last volunteer with tears in her eyes and the kindest words in her voice.  This year marked our fourth and biggest prom event, dedicated to giving high school senior girls the opportunity to not only wear a beautiful gown to their senior prom without cost, but to experience the excitement that goes along with it.

Last year, Robyn Maloney, from Bay Shore High School reached out to Bridal Suite of Bay Shore, identifying the same goal, and our joined forces for the common goal have proved extremely positive.  The event usually lasts about 2 hours, where we open the store solely for the purpose of this cause, offering a free prom gown combined with the salon experience to each girl in need (and her family).  During this event, the entire prom section is groomed for dresses that we are able to offer.  There are hundreds of dresses in all sizes and colors and our 9 dressing rooms are open to all of the girls, along with a prom consultant for direction or advice, or simply a reassuring comment.  This year, girls needed to share dressing rooms because of the abundant turnout, and a few even changed in the bathroom.  Every girl that walked in for a dress, walked out with one, so our mission was 100% successful.The evening closed with an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness from both ends… the receiver, obviously, for a dress to wear on prom night.  The giver, for the opportunity just to be able to provide a service and help someone in some way.  There is no greater gift than this.In the days to follow, a call came from a volunteer at Wyandanch High School, named Kim.  “Do you have any dresses to offer?… we are hosting a prom event for girls that cannot afford…”.  Once again we heard the calling and the answer just seemed obvious.  Why not take it one step beyond so that those fallen on financial hardship can feel just as worthy as the next girl.  It seems that so many of our neighbors are in need.  So we will gather and sort for Wyandanch. Kim will pick up and we will all sleep more soundly knowing that we may have made a difference.

How it Feels to Be Voted #1, A Personal Reflection

We worked extra hard this year. Last year too. The staff believes as if we are the # 1 bridal salon. They perform and behave as if it’s a matter of fact. It is an amazing gift to walk into an atmosphere where everyone is giving it their all. We have a remarkable chemistry and everyone on the team plays a part. We are like a chain. Sometimes a link needs repair. It is then that we lean on one another to rebuild what has been weakened and make that part stronger. It is all for the common purpose of providing the best possible experience for our brides, moms, maids, prom girls and attendants. The concept is simple but the application requires great effort. When the call from Long Island Press came this morning, we all kind of held our breath in anticipation of the results of the six week long vote for the Best Bridal Store on Long Island in which we were one of 12 stores nominated. I didn’t want to know the verdict, and I did, like covering your eyes with an open hand during a scary movie. Doris took the call. I could stand it no longer so I headed to her office where she gave me the biggest smile and held up 1 finger telling me that we came in 1st place. Enter emotion. I think when a blessing is made so clear and more importantly that I recognize it as a blessing, I become so infused with gratitude that it just takes over. Andrea and Tamy were there to receive the news, and their reaction was priceless. Carole jumped up and down when she came on and returned texts from Antonella, Annie, and Maryellen seemed to leap through my phone.


I don’t really think the victory was simply the glory of winning a contest that our loyal customers for over 47 years took part in. Although I am proud to come in ahead of chain stores and multiple location stores, I don’t think that was the main cause for the burst of emotion, either. I think that when you follow your heart and do what you believe is right and just, no matter what effort is required; and you work side by side with a tireless team with the same goal; and realize that sometimes you have to let go of control and listen some more and put it in the Hands; and after all that, someone affirms this by telling you that what you believed all along is what others believe too; that it’s magical. I would like to thank our wonderful, dedicated and loyal customers for voting for us. I would also like to thank the best staff, not only in Long Island, but anywhere, for thinking it and seeing it through. Voted #1 Best Bridal Salon on Long Island 2012, by Long Island Press!

What is a Bridal Trunk Show?

What is a Trunk Show?

You come across an ad that says “Maggie Sottero Trunk Show, this Weekend” What does it mean? Basically, a trunk show heightens the experience of selecting your bridal gown. Many designers have offered this option to salons in order to show more of their dresses on any given weekend, for that time only. Often times it’s a sneak peak of what will be shipped for the upcoming season, an exclusive “preview”. You get to view and order from the designer’s brand new collection before it even hits the stores.

When a bridal salon carries a designer, it is not likely that they carry every style they offer. A trunk show is an opportunity for the salon to offer you an extended inventory from a particular manufacturer for that short time period. An added bonus usually presents a discount on these gowns that is offered exclusively during the trunk show period. Often times this discount is permissible for gowns purchases during the scheduled trunk show dates ONLY. This is probably the biggest draw for the bride and sometimes, it is even worth waiting for to save that money that would not otherwise be permitted.

Sometimes, at a trunk show, you get to meet the designer in person, and this is exciting to some brides. You may get to meet Madeline Gardiner from Mori Lee or David Tutera from Mon Cheri. When the designers make a special appearance at a trunk show they share their knowledge and answer questions about anything from their inspiration, why they chose the fabric to what fit might be the best for you. While the bridal consultants should be skilled in this area, it is an added bonus to hear this right from the top, from the person that carefully designed each stitch of the most important piece of clothing you will ever attire. So if you are looking for a dress from Allure bridals that you cannot find anywhere, you may very well find it at the next trunk show. Or if your gown budget was 900 and the Casablanca dress is $1000… well then the trunk show might be the way to go for you.

Reality Wedding TV

April 2011

The wedding rage is upon us. It has been for some time. Back in 2006, on a Sunday in July, WE Television ran an episode of “Bridezillas” that ranked as one of the networks highest rated original TV series in the network’s cable history. This, just 3 years after the premier of the show. Wedding reality TV has become somewhat of a craze. There is rarely a customer who walks into our showroom that doesn’t use the term ‘bridezilla’ in some context. “I’m not a bridezilla” or “She is a real bridezilla.” And without question we all know what the word means whether Webster recognizes it or not.

I switch channels and walk through the showroom. I over hear “I feel like I’m watching ‘Say Yes to the Dress’” from a customer who has accompanied her daughter on her wedding dress excursion. Because I am not a wedding reality TV regular, I sometimes feel as though I am missing something, as my customers and employees chatter about last night’s episode. I have to remind myself that we are actually the reality. But still I am curious.

So I find myself waking early one morning. I scheduled a date with youtube.com to check out what all the chatter is about and ironically, to see if I could possibly by missing something that I think I live. I wonder if I will learn something. I wonder if I, too, will become an addict, and admittedly I wonder if they could possibly have one up on us when I watch “Say Yes to the Dress”. I park at the computer and begin watching. I feel the addiction start to tease me. I challenge myself. I know which dress is right for that bride and I want to tell her. I do not even have to look at the dress. I just need to see her face. I get heated and want to speak through the TV… “you can’t have everyone’s approval… you cannot let a 5 and 7 year old choose your dress… and you look so beautiful your eyes lit up when you put that on.” Then I decide to save it for the showroom. I feel proud, in a sense, because I am confident in the expertise we possess as an established and reputable bridal salon. I am reassured that my staff is amazing. They council, they guide, they listen and they lead. It is a gift that I am grateful for. In some of the situations I say to myself, Tamy should be helping that bride, she would understand her situation… or Maryellen would know what dress to pick. So in the end, I decide, I am not missing out on the reality TV wedding craze. My showroom is the reality. Though, I can relate to the obsession.

In the end, I decided to research the available wedding television shows available just to insure that using the word obsession or craze was justified. I was quite surprised to find 24!!. This does not include the newly launched prime time show “Shedding for the Wedding” that airs at 9/8c every Wednesday night on CW network. I peruse the titles and realize that I do not have the time to watch every one. The titles alone are enough to intrigue me and put a smile on my face. Who knows, maybe I’ll start a new blog series and critique them one by one? But first, I have a business to run. Oh and for your viewing pleasure, here is the list of shows that I came up with… just in case you’ve missed one!

“Amazing Wedding Cakes”, “Bridal Bootcamp”,“Bridezillas”, “Buff Brides”, “ Bulging Brides”, “Engaged and Underage”, “Four Weddings”, “Get Married”, “I Propose”, “Married Away”, :My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding”, “My Big Redneck Wedding”, “My Fair Wedding”, “Platinum Weddings”, “Rich Bride Poor Bride”, “Rock the Reception”, “Rules of Engagement”, “Say Yes to the Dress”, “Shedding for the Wedding”, “The Real Wedding Crashers”, “ The Wedding Bells”,“ A Wedding Story”, “Til Death”, “Wedding SOS”, “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?”

Fall Back and Reflect

This is the time of the year in the bridal industry and specifically for us at Bridal Suite of Bay Shore, that lends itself to the season. As the leaves begin to change, it is important to take some time to sit back and reflect on what is changing, and how we can see the beauty in those changes. There is a choice to make when the colors rain down to the ground and the chill enters the air. Do we see the opportunity to take a walk in the woods and bake something yummy in the oven or do we moan about the chill in the air and complain about the winter coming? We have a choice on how we view everything.

I often bring this this season of change into the bridal salon and harvest the opportunity to make improvements. As the holidays approach us our traffic dwindles just a bit. It is a time when myself and the staff get to fall back and reflect. What did we do this year that was right? What can we make better? How can we be the best choice for every customer walking through the door and truly identify with what they are looking for? The truth is, we are up against challenging times. People feel slighted. People want “something”. We want to feel as if they can get that "something" here. The changes can be simple. They have to make a difference, however. We thought that a good way to begin our reflection was with something as simple as a thank you, as often as we can. We now send thank you cards to all of our customers; those that have chosen to purchase with us, and those who have not yet decided. We include a “token” of thanks to all of our parting brides, as well. Thank you for being a part of our family, for choosing our service, for being here.

Have you noticed that smiles are harder to come by these days? Who would have ever thought that it would be difficult to make someone smile? A personal goal for me is to make more people smile and see the good in everyone. I think about the job my staff is doing. “Look at Antonella, her warm welcome made that customer feel at home.” or “Monica went out of her way to tell that customer how beautiful she looks.” or “Andrea offered only positive comments and solutions today.” I can find something positive in any of the staff. It is a choice. I feel really blessed with this staff (or I can choose to point out the negative.)

A physical change we made just this week was to lower our prices. Times are uncertain for most of us. I know we all worked harder this year than ever. My employees were amazing. Nobody made more money. They just reached deeper and worked harder. Lowering prices took some work. In working closely with our manufacturers, we were able to lower many of the prices on our bridal gowns offering the lowest prices allowable by our contract with them. When you combine this with the service that we offer, there isn’t much of a better offer.

We will never be finished reflecting. Falling leaves and the change of seasons will repeat itself time and time again. As long as we make the choice to honor the season and put forth the changes to just “be better” and to “better serve”, our mission is worthwhile. And "Thank You" for reading.

Girl Scout Troop 1613 - May 2010

I had the pleasure last week of visiting with Girl Scout troop 1613. Their quest was to obtain specific requirements so that they can earn their business badge. (Though I must admit that some of the motivation for visiting might have been to try on pretty dresses!). This group of girls was awesome. My job was to give them a little bit of an understanding of what is involved in starting up and operating your own business. In preparing, I wanted to get this group of 10 and 11 year olds thinking about things that they wouldn’t normally think about from a business perspective. While I do believe that we accomplished the task at hand, I think the gift that the girls gave to me was far greater than what I was offering them. So many different personalities...and among the traits were confidence, certainty, uncertainty, shyness, boldness, energy, reservation… etc. etc. etc. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity of sharing my business experience with them.

The onset of the gathering started a little hectic for me as I was juggling at least one extra ball, as always… but my “assistants (daughter, then mother)” quickly came to my rescue and I relaxed, smiled and settled in. The girls listened reverently. They asked questions with the raise of a hand and asked intelligent questions (beyond what I think a 10 year old should comprehend). I was surprised at their interest. My disillusionment about how children are becoming spoiled, wavered for the evening and we all had a good time. During that evening, I was reconnected with the reasons why I went into business in the 1st place. Questions were asked about the daily and unobvious expenses I incur as a business owner. What do I like most and least about being my own boss and how important it is to maintain a good reputation? I learned about the hopes of the future of these 5th graders and I took a few moments to honor their dreams. Toward the end of the session, we learned about what type of business the girls would be interested in. It looks as though I will have some competition with a few bridal store owners, but doctors, silly bands and lotion store were some other aspirations.

In the end, the girls decorated the windows of their own choice, and they did a fabulous job. Oh… and they were rewarded with a little “dress up” time which they loved.

Has anybody seen my voice?

(The story you are about to read is true.  The characters in this story and the dresses in this story have not been changed to protect the innocent.  The opinion in this story is real and reflects that of myself, bridal salon owner.)


I just finished a 1st fitting on a mother of the groom gown.  Her son’s wedding is in 3 short days and the dress just came in today!   Here is a recap of her journey as interpreted through my own professional experience.  It was just over 7 months ago when this mom came in to our salon with her husband looking for a specific dress that she thought would be perfect to wear to her son’s wedding.  She was confident and sure of herself.  After trying on the dress, she concluded that this, in fact, was her dress, and said she would return after the mother of the bride picked her color.  Though she walked away with a color in mind.

Fast forward two months.  The mom came in to order and to my surprise had chosen a  different style than the original.  It only surprised me because I was so impressed with her decisiveness in round 1,  that I judged it curious for her to change her mind.  It appears that in between her certainty and the time that elapsed before she actually ordered that other voices and opinions guided her in a different direction.  This seems to be the decade for that sort of thing.  There is so much information.  There are so many voices (real and cyber) that maintaining a firm idea of our own is sometimes met with a challenge.  Sometimes it is difficult to follow a path when there are too many paths to choose from.  This is not only true in bridal.  We are met with this challenge in every element of our lives.  There are distractions everywhere.  It is difficult to remember when I myself had a silent, meditative moment.  This is one of the reasons I push church or yoga or just locking yourself in the bathroom, for that matter.  It is a forced moment of solitude, something that seems to be threatening extinction.  This is a scary thing for me.  When are we supposed to figure things out, sort out our morals, be grateful?  Certainly not during 900 television channels, cellular phone calls, face book, or the rest of the world wide web.  Information and voices are abound and often appear to be unavoidable.

I don’t know for certain if this has anything to do with my customer or not, but I certainly suspect it and it caused my own chain of thoughts to spiral.  So anyway, back to her story.  Her dress arrived (the 2nd choice dress that she wound up ordering 1st.).  She came for her 1st fitting.  It was agreed by onlookers and our staff (and perhaps the voice that suggested the gown in the first place) that she looked amazing.  She did not agree.  The “color was wrong“.  The “dress was wrong.”  The person wearing the dress did not feel like herself.  Now this is a statement.  I was not there for her fitting, but Andrea, our alterations manager is very intuitive and sensed the customer‘s discomfort.  She left me a note to follow up on the matter.  “I don’t think she was happy, even though it looked good on her”, Andrea said.

I called her the next day.  We chatted.  I listened.  She was a doll.  I understood her words and what were behind them.  (She must have got a hold of her quiet.)  I felt obligated to make her dress right for her.  While we had no recourse on the dress that was ordered for her I proceeded forward based on the Karma that I so strongly believe in.  She wanted her original choice.  Time was really of the essence, but I like the vendor (Jordan/Catterina) and the service they offer and place a lot of trust in them.  While slightly reluctant, they gave me a super rush cut for delivery 3 days before the wedding.  I said “let’s do it” and reassured our customer that we would have the new dress but it would be close.  And although this decision may not have benefited our business from a financial standpoint, it felt good to help someone who just lost their voice for a moment.  It helped that it was a pleasant voice, (because did you ever try to listen to someone who is screaming and irrational?)  Tough to hear.

End of long story. The dress arrived as promised. The smile returned to this mother’s face.  She looked beautiful and the way she envisioned herself looking from start.  The color was perfect.  The dress was perfect.  And they all lived happily ever after.  The end.